NextBus

10 things you should know about riding the bus (from a sortof MUNI expert):

1) There's no use chasing boys and buses. But if it drives right past you, it's ok to bang on the side of the bus with your fist.

2) Sometimes fellow passengers think it's ok to sit really far away from each other and yell conversations from the front of the bus to the back. Hint: it is NOT ok. I have a headache

3) And don't be the person who pulls the stop cord "accidentally" 3 times before figuring out the right stop. Just ask.

4) It's not fun when the driver slams on the breaks and you end up in someone's lap.

5) Or accelerates too fast and causes you to bruise your tailbone.

6) However, the bus is the best way to catch the most bizarre walks of life at 3 am from Castro to Sunset

7) It smells. Sometimes like vomit, sometimes like McDonalds.

8) It's best to avoid traveling by middle schools at 4 pm or the mall at 5 pm (both of which I'm personally subjected to on a daily basis.)

9) Bus drivers are awesome. Like when you leave a folder of important papers at the bus stop and they return it to you. See's candy for you Glen Coco

10) It's always late when you have some place to be. And early when you have all the time in the world.


                                          - love
                                               tsg reporting live from the bus

We Fly High

10 things you should know about flying Virgin America (from a travelholic's perspective):

1) If your baby is crying, the flight attendant will carry them around as a cute accessory while delivering free cans of soda.

2) You can watch Ellen, Chelsea Lately, or Millionaire Matchmaker (depending on travel time) in flight.

3) Or you can pay $8.99 and watch Salmon Fishing in Yemen.

4) The safety video is entertaining. I actually watch it every time (mostly for the nun part.)

5) Blue and purple make the perfect travel mood lighting.

6) The flight crew wears unibomber jackets. Hello top gun.

7) You can order Pringles with the click of a button, and I'm not talking about the annoying attendant call light.

8) Their seats are not flotation devices.

9) They force you to ask yourself, (in the words of my father) "Why do all the other airlines suck?"

10) They now offer flights to Newark, NJ. They need to offer direct flights from SFO to DTW.


                                                       - with love,
                                                              tsg

Pike & Pine

10 things you should know about Pike Place Market

1) It's home to Ferrell Thomas aka "The Balloon Man." The cat man has been MIA for some time now.

2) Dried flowers are all the rage this winter.

3) Pirosky Pirosky has the best piroskys. And they don't require you to speak Russian.

4) It's not a trip to the market unless you catch a fish. Or watch the man in waders catch a fish.

5) The first ever Starbucks still has caramel frappuccinos.

6) The bronze pig's name is Rachel.

7) It's entirely possible to spend hundreds of dollars on pasta, bread, cheese, veggies, fruits, and delicious lobster tail.

8) The guys on the corner sell the best fruit.

9) It's beautifully touristy and local with a great view of the bay and mountains. It pretty much sums up all that Seattle has to offer (minus Capitol Hill)

10) Getting lost is half the fun. But if you insist, feel free to drop dried cherries like Gretel.


                                            - love
                                                  tsg in SEA

Dog House

10 things you should know about Bo Obama (the first dog for four more years):

1) He has his own HuffPost Page

2) He's good friends with Betty White. Need I say more.

3) Bo can rock a lei.

4) He's a Portuguese water dog. And he's really fluffy.

5) He takes the motorcade to PetsMart.

6) He's hypoallergenic. No, but really.

7) He has very proud parents. And they happen to be really important people. Talk about great pedigree.

8) Bo knows all the good oval office gossip. But he'll never tell.

9) He's incredibly fashionable: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/03/bo-obama-bunny-ears-photo_n_2403801.html?utm_hp_ref=bo-obama#slide=1942400

10) Plus he's very charming: http://www.seattlepi.com/entertainment/tv/tvguide/article/VIDEO-Bo-Obama-Hops-on-Michelle-Obama-s-Lap-4145210.php


                                             love,
                                                tsg & Bo's #1 fan

No puedo hablar Espanol

10 things you should know about learning a new language (from my perspective):

1) Rosetta Stone (or some knock off version like I'm currently using) can be quite overwhelming.

2) You'll begin to wonder in what situations you'll ever use the phrase, "Where are the suitcases?"

3) You'll quickly remember why you didn't take any more Spanish classes after junior year of high school.

4) Mandarin is the most spoken language in the world. (Maybe I should be trying my hand at it instead of Spanish.)

5) The Spanish world for garlic (ajo) is very difficult to pronounce.

6) It's always best to immerse yourself in the culture. Surround myself with margaritas and salsa dancing? yes please.

7) The swear words are so much easier to learn than anything else.

8) You'll have a great excuse to go to Mexico (or Spain, or France, or China, etc.)

9) It's not as easy as it looks.

10) And it feels a lot like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqwzvtjeYBQ


                                            love,
                                               token recta chica

Gentle Dental

10 things you should know about going to the dentist (from the perspective of someone who's never had braces):

1) No matter how much you floss, there's always tarter. Smh.

2) It's the only place where a stranger can and will stick their hands in your mouth without so much as an introduction.

3) The X-rays are the worst.

4) There's always a fish tank. And Nemo always looks like he wants to escape. Feeling's mutual, buddy.

5) No one likes to go. Except my father, but he's weird.

6) The whole place smells like Listerine.

7) And sounds like a symphony playing during road construction.

8) The best part is reclining back in the chair and seeing what obscure photos are posted on the ceiling. (Today it's two hugging macaws.)

9) If you still have your wisdom teeth (gasp.) the techs will treat you like some rare subspecies they've only ever heard of in textbooks.

10) At least they give you a free toothbrush and mini floss for your time and efforts.


                                         - with love,
                                                tsg (with cleaner, whiter teeth)

Final Rose

10 things you should know about The Bachelor (from the token straight girl's perspective):

1) We all thought the chick who showed up in a wedding dress was nuts. Turns out she's one of the normal ones.

2) But there's always one. That Amanda girl is cray.

3) Desiree didn't really break that art statue. and thankfully she can take a practical joke.

4) Only the first dates, and already girls are falling in love. behold the power of The Bachelor.

5) The yoga instructor couldn't handle the pressure of competing with 15 other women for Sean's love. shocker.

6) Sean is a rule breaker. Roses before the ceremony, and straight out of the limo? ok fine.

7) Tierra has been deemed the token possessive one.

8) There's no way Sean actually needs kissing tips from Arie. come on ABC.

9) It would've been much cooler if Robyn could've landed that back handspring.

10) Sean is the perfect specimen of a man. The end.


                                              - love,
                                                    the tsg

Go Team

10 things you should know about NFL Playoffs (from a token straight 49ers fan perspective):

1) The Seahawks almost won. So did the Broncos. But not the Texans.

2) Players hitting each other in the head is bad for their health. and flags will be thrown.

3) Flacco doesn't give up. Sorry bout it, Peyton.

4) Jim & John (Harbaugh) are brothers.

5) Kaepernick set the new record for most yards rushed by any quarterback ever.

6) The cheeseheads will be put away until September.

7) Hunkiest QB goes to Tom Brady. Put your surprised face on.

8) The Niners are headed to Atlanta to take on the Falcons.

9) And the Ravens are headed to Gillette Stadium (wherever that is) to take on the Patriots.

10) The 49ers are coming for the title this year. And nobody has it better than us.


                                             -love,
                                                  tsg

Blurg.

10 things you should know about this years Golden Globes (from a token straight Hollywood wannabe's perspective):

1) Lena Dunham should've worn more comfortable shoes.

2) P. Diddy was in attendance. No one knows why.

3) Jodie Foster is 50.

4) Bradley was robbed. Sorry Hugh, nothing personal.

5) Adele high-fived James Bond, and J. Law beat Meryl. epic.

6) Daniel Day Lewis' nose was definitely broken at some point.

7) Argo is great. That's why it won Best Movie Drama. and now J-Lo is regretting ever leaving Ben.

8) Christolph Waltz is lookin' good with that new haircut.

9) Anne Hathaway has never looked more terrified.

10) Bill Clinton is HERE. If only Oprah was there to announce it.

oh, and Tina & Amy should host every award show this season.

                                       
                                                           -love,
                                                                tsg

Bug A Boo

10 things you should know about Destiny's Child (from the obsessed fan perspective):

1) They officially put Houston, Texas on the map. Well, maybe not, but for me they did.

2) The girls called it quits in 2006, leaving Queen Beysus to rule the world.

3) Michelle Williams has a gospel album or two.

4) Their "Say My Name" video has 17,221,539 views on YouTube. 1,539 of which are probably mine.

5) They taught us to pay our own Bills, Bills, Bills, leave our man at home when the club is Jumpin' Jumpin', and throw our hands up for being Independent Women (Part II).

6) LaTavia Roberson & LeToya Luckett once called themselves part of the "Child" quartet, but then they left.

7) They think nasty girls should put some clothes on.

8) Destiny's Child was first known as Girl's Tyme. You gotta see this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWXPl18psZA

9) Their new album drops this month. get excited.

10) Their body's too Bootylicious for you babe.


                                                      -love,
                                                          tsg

Adult Supervision Required

10 things you should know about Django Unchained (from the 23 year old token straight history buff’s perspective):

1) Only Quentin Tarantino can make a laughable KKK joke.

2) It’s a really long movie. Maybe too long. But also just right. 

3) Jamie Foxx can rock a blue suit. No real surprise.

4) Christoph Waltz is brilliant.

5) Never has dynamite in a tooth been so cool.

6) There’ll be a moment when you say to yourself, “OMG, that’s Samuel L. Jackson.” (or maybe that's just me.)

7) Leo is a racist. But not really. 

8) It's not for the faint of heart, there's enough fake blood loss already. 

9) There's a German story involving a mountain. Of course. 

10) The “D” is silent. 

         

                                            - love,

                                                the tsg

Nightingale

10 things you should know about nurses (from the token straight nurse's perspective):

1) We may only work 3 or 4 days a week, and get paid pretty well, but we also wipe people’s asses for a living.

2) We are actually just adult babysitters.

3) We hate wearing that gown and mask just as much as you hate having c.diff.

4) We don’t wish we were doctors.

5) We wear scrubs. Not short skirts and corsets with those funny little hats.

6) We will overanalyze your veins.

7) We spend too much time looking for a pen. And appreciate a good one more than most.

8) Dear friends and family, we don’t actually like to discuss and diagnose your new flare up or eye twitch outside of work. 

9) We should have a separate degree for simply being able to read doctor’s handwriting.

10) Yes, we are superhuman. 

                                                  - love,
                                                        tsg 

Let's hear it for the boy

10 Things you should know about gay bars (from the token straight girl's perspective):

1) Kylie Minogue is still a thing.

2) Bathrooms aren’t segregated. Ladies, note that the toilet seat goes back up when you’re done.

3) The coat check may be the best $2 you’ll spend all night.

4) Impromptu Drag shows aren’t so impromptu.

5) Your cute gay friend is the ticket to the bartender’s best pours.

6) Boobs don’t count.

7) Always be a good wingman.

8) Never, ever wear flip flops. especially with socks.

9) Girls are girls and boys are boys. Except when they’re not. No pointing.

10) Whatever happens, by all means, keep dancing. 


                                         - love, 
                                              tsg

Park It.

10 things you should know about Delores Park (from the token straight girl who lives in the Sunset's perspective):

1) This place proves there are more dogs than children in SF.

2) Features include teenagers hitting a bong, gays lounging in speedos on “the beach,” kids running around on the newly constructed playground, and French bulldogs in sweaters.

3) Kids are welcome. But the park is more fun for dogs.

4) Pot brownies are cheap.

5) The view is worth the uphill hike.

6) The sun “always” shines.

7) Bi-Rite is less than a block away. Worth the wait.

8) It’s the best place to bring a bottle of wine and a Frisbee, then ditch the Frisbee, drink the bottle, and take a nap.

9) The hillsides covered by trees are most often slippery when wet. And muddy.

10) It’s pretty. 

                                - love, 
                                      San Francisco's tokenstr8grl